Men Who Write Women: We Need to Talk
Please note, the views below are my own.
It seems we’re facing a bit of a problem right now. And it’s a conversation we’ve had over and over and over. Some individual authors have listened, or spoken out, about it. Reviewers sure as hell have, but certain people seem to believe themselves ‘above’ the rest of us. Whether they’re writers or reviewers or even publishers, there’s people to ignore us when we say this. So it needs to be said again and again and again.
Men, why are you so obsessed with writing women POV characters?
There’s another side to this coin, one I won’t go into here, but that centres around white people insisting on writing BIPOC POV characters. Honestly? Cut that shit out, too. (Please note, the discussions around these topics are all varied and nuanced and different, I don’t have the expertise to write about the BIPOC side, but there are plenty of people who do. Seek them out. And as for ‘hetero’ people writing LGBTIA+? That is a whole different story, which maybe even deserves an essay of its own. We’ll see.)
I know the arguments. God knows I’ve heard them so many times. We’re writers! We can write what we want! But why do you want to write women so damn bad? Let’s face it, the majority of the time you’re not even good at it. We’re focusing on Indie Horror here, so let me say this – look at the majority of women putting out horror books right now. How many of them do you see writing a male perspective for their first, second, third books?
Important: I am not saying you, as a man, can never, ever write from a woman’s perspective. Of course not. But the fact is too many men are, for some reason, doing it as new writers in long (novella and novel) fiction, without considering the weight behind it. Without realising what it actually means to be a woman, without doing the research required to fully understand a different perspective.
“But women write male POV characters all the time!” Yes, and you know what? We have had male characters written by men inflicted upon us since we were kids, in films and TV and books. You know what we’ve had much less of? Women written by women. The default perspective in the US and UK is white, straight, cis male. Anyone writing outside that needs to either draw on their own experiences, or needs to do a hell of a lot of research, and even possibly hire sensitivity readers.
But still, many women are writing from a woman’s perspective, because we want to tell our stories. We want to reveal what it’s like to be a woman, to people who maybe don’t understand. Some men absolutely can do it well. But if you’re starting out writing, think about your story. Yes, even if it is in a fantasy world or whatever. Think about what you want to convey.
Right, so, you’ve got a story. You’re deciding on a perspective. If you absolutely insist this perspective is outside your own, fine. Do the research. But you must also be prepared to answer this – why are you writing from this perspective? If I want to write about a solider in World War I, yes, it’s going to be a male POV. But if I wanted to write about soldiers in more modern wars, or vets returning after tours of duty, why would I not write that from a female perspective? Both, by the way, would still require a lot of research.
When I’ve tried talking about this before, people always seem to put words in my mouth. So let me make it clear. I am not saying you, as a man, can never ever write from a different perspective. I am not saying you, as a man, must always write as a man. I am saying give careful consideration to what you are writing and how you are telling the story. And maybe, for your first big project, don’t jump straight to writing from a different perspective. If you want to try, do it in short stories. They are an absolutely great way of honing your craft and getting feedback on how you can do better.
Maybe you have got projects under your belt. Maybe you are published, with short or long fiction, maybe everything you’ve written has been from a male perspective, or you’ve written from a female perspective and had good feedback. Okay, great. Have at it. Work away. Please make sure you’re still getting feedback from women to keep it consistent.
But here’s a message to those authors, specifically.
Why the fuck do so many of your stories centre around women getting raped?
I don’t give a shit if men did it before. I don’t give a shit if whatever author you admire did it and actually did it well. Good for them. But the trope of women getting sexually assaulted so the men can rally around and avenge her, or even graphic depictions of rape in male authored work for the sake of shock value needs to end.
It’s usually not written well, and too often comes across as a man trying to get their socks off through their writing. A handful of times it does serve the story, is handled decently, but even then, without the proper research and consideration some element of the story will come off badly.
Do you really want to be thought of as a guy who fantasies about raping women?
“But I want to highlight these issues!”
Great! Admirable. You realise men can also be victims of sexual assault? (Again, please ensure you are doing proper research and hiring sensitivity readers if writing on this topic.)
Seriously, guys, I just need you to take a step back. I am asking you to really listen. We are tired of this trope. We are tired of men using our trauma because they think it’s in fashion or will sell their books. Publishers, please make sure you have a diverse staff, please utilize sensitivity readers. Hell, reach out to reviewers if you like, but putting out these books makes you look bad as well.
If for some reason these things are integral to your story, you know what? I want to see references. I want a list at the back of the book, detailing what resources you used, how many sensitivity readers you hired. I want to know I’m not going to end up reliving my own trauma (as so many of us do!) because you’re too lazy to actually make sure you’re handling delicate subjects well. Because you can’t be bothered to add trigger warnings, because you are so insistent on using other people’s pain just to be edgy.
You’re not like that? Good.
Then either stop writing as if you are or do your God damn research.
And fellow reviewers who read these sort of ‘shock edgy look at me’ books? We see you. And your views show us a lot about who you really are, too.
For fuck’s sake.
Essay by Elle Turpitt
Twitter: @elleturpitt
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