Agony Aunt Answers: Invisible BFs, Sneaky Snackers, Tricky Teachers

Today, I find myself helping people with a few hard to see situations, whether it’s a partner avoiding confrontation, someone with a new ability, and a tricky teacher who seems to pop up in places inconvenient for their students!

How do I stop my significant other from going invisible as their way to avoid arguments?! It's really annoying... (26NB, 24M)

It’s okay, you don’t have to tone down your language for me. ‘Fucking infuriating’ sounds like it would be more fitting. Some people will always try to find a way out of arguments, dodge them like bullets, but some people will also turn any criticism against them into an argument, so first thing you need to ask yourself – are they avoiding arguments, or are they avoiding discussions?

If you ask your SO to do something, and they don’t, and you mention it, do they accuse you of nagging? Do they turn your request into an argument, then disappear? Why are you having so many arguments, to the point where they disappear all the time?

It’s important to address what these arguments are, too. What they are about. Is it the same situation, over and over? What happens when they reappear? Do you try to continue the discussion, only to be shut down?

Lastly, I want you to really, truly consider something. Just because they can’t be seen, doesn’t mean they cannot listen. Just because they are invisible, doesn’t mean they can’t respond. Turning invisible to avoid these things is immature and childish. Ask yourself if this relationship is worth pursuing. If it is, perhaps couple’s therapy is the answer. There might be deeper reasons your partner is so averse to conflict, and if there are, you both need to discuss this and get to the root of it. 

I am invisible, and lately, I have been enjoying this newfound freedom of not having a body--free movies and all, and I get to eat French Fries as soon as they're done in the fryer without anyone knowing; however, I keep experiencing the sensation that my body is there... is that such a thing, phantom-body syndrome? And what can I do about it? 

-Your Invisible Friend.

Being invisible is hard, and it is a tricky sensation to navigate. Not only can no one else see you, but you can’t even see yourself. Many people who have discovered this strange formula have reported the same weird sensations of either being able to feel their body in ways they couldn’t before, or not able to feel it at all. But rest assured, these feelings are very common. Here’s the thing – even if you cannot see it, your body is still there. It is still present, otherwise you would not be able to pick up those delicious French Fries. I think what you might be experiencing are just the side-effects of your invisibility. You might experience more tingling sensations, akin to pins-and-needles, as your body adjusts to its newfound state. It’s also a way of your body overcoming the fact you cannot see it – imagine that its there to tell you, hey, your hand is still here. Or watch where you put your foot! As you grow more used to your abilities, you will grow used to the strange sensations you are experiencing, too. 

My teacher always appears in places that can't be explained by anything other than she's magical. She is a chemistry teacher. But it doesn't account for the vanishing/appearing act. How do I find out how she does it?

It is possible your teacher has discovered a formula for invisibility. In which case, there really isn’t much you can do about it. I’m intrigued by these ‘places that can’t be explained’ thing, however. Do you mean she disappears from one room and appears in the other, or that she magically appears over your shoulder when you’re fooling around instead of working?

Keep this in mind: even without formulas to change the body and become invisible, teachers are incredibly magic in themselves. Many have the ability to sneak up on students who aren’t paying attention, in which case, this may be exactly what your teacher is doing. Just like many teachers – and parents – have eyes in the back of their heads, so they can still be aware of what is happening in the class when they writing on the board. 

Teachers work extremely hard. I would suggest not trying to delve into the whys of how your teacher can do what she does, and instead focus on what she is teaching you. Who knows, perhaps one day she might reveal her secret to you, or if you focus hard enough, you might discover it for yourself!

Well there you go. I do hope that was helpful for you all, dears. And remember, if you have any questions you would like answered, you can send them to me at broomhildavitch813@gmail.com or use the nifty form the wonderful Ellen has created for me.

Broomhilda lives in the middle of the woods, away from the world. She has spent a lot of time watching history unfold, and has a keen eye for those who now fall on the wrong side of it. She is a full supporter of rights for all humans, and believes in treating others with kindness and respect unless they reveal themselves to be bigots and/or bullies. She urges people to wear a mask, and lives with her three-headed puppy, three-legged cat, and three-eyed dragon. You can follow Broomhilda on Twitter, @BroomhildaAgony.