Pride in Horror Book Review: When I Was Death by Alexis Henderson
Genre: Paranormal Horror
Age: Young Adult
Format: ebook
Roslyn’s world dims after her sister dies under mysterious circumstances. For Rosyln, it seems like no one else cares, though she noticed a change in her sister during her last summer, after her sister came back from travelling with a group of girls. When those same girls arrive in Roslyn’s hometown, she takes the opportunity to travel with them, desperate to find out more about what her sister was doing in her last months. As it turns out, the girls are linked in ways Rosyln couldn’t imagine, brought together by Death himself to reap souls across the country.
The crafting of this is done really well, and Henderson proves herself a talented writer (thankfully I have another couple of her books on my TBR!). Roslyn is so wrapped up in grief she struggles to move on, and her focus becomes finding out what happened to her sister. The girls she travels with are all unique, with their own personalities and arcs. It’s not often an author can effectively juggle such a last cast, but Henderson does it really well here.
Books like this are so important in YA – the theme of grief and the way it takes over Roslyn’s life, in unhealthy ways, until she is able to let go, the way the group bond and protect each other even if they don’t all personally get on and have their differences, and the way it shows how people can drift apart, needing different things at different times in their lives. It’s incredibly well thought out, with the girls sent to deaths depending on their own personalities and what the person dying might need, offering comfort and grace in their final moments.
Not that it’s unique to the US (or the UK), but we are often so closed off when it comes to death, and with the themes in this book I think for younger readers, it can serve to open up those conversations, give them a way to process death and grief and show they’re not alone. Loneliness is another theme touched on, especially through Roslyn. When we meet her, she’s drifting through life, struggling with her grief and pushing away those close to her. There’s a sense she thinks her parents would have preferred her to die over her sister, and she’s frustrated that they don’t seem to care when she suggests she’s going away with a group of strange girls, but as an adult we can read between the lines, and see that her parents are just happy that she’s doing relatively normal teen things, likely hoping she’s ‘coming out’ the other side. I really appreciate when YA layers things in this way, and it’s a talent to do so.
There’s also the queer themes here, with Roslyn developing feelings for the group’s “leader”, but wrestling with her internal conflict over her sister, and throughout getting the opportunity to know her sister a little better and examine their own relationship.
It wasn’t quite five stars for me, but it’s not far off (and keep in mind I am not the target audience), and I definitely recommend this one, especially if you have younger horror fans in your life you can share it with.
Review by Elle Turpitt
Twitter: @elleturpitt
Bluesky: @elleturpitt.bsky.social
I received this ebook from Penguin via NetGalley for review consideration.
